Peace - A distant friend

There is noise all around; insensible chaos and mutter,
The peace that I am looking for, slides away like butter.
Harried and harassed, the souls around me scream and utter,
My throat blocks my words, for all I can do now is stutter.

Peace, a fortune reserved by those, who can neither talk or think,
Unimpeachable creations of nature, those animals, paint their blackness, with this white ink.
Though primitive, they easily cross the turbulence of life, while with all my intelligence, I abjectly sink,
I search somewhere for a hand to grab, but now, even He, just smiles back with a wink.

Recklessly and constantly acquiring, I forget to notice that, which He already gave for free,
Failing to realize that, which dwells within, is what leads morosity through the path of glee.
My conniving mind manifests thoughts, to appease my faculties; and is yet perfunctory,
And I float away from the truth, for that which I now can see, is illusory.

I look for catharsis, that of my deeds, which were once sins,
Ego inflates my pride, while my perception is burst by pins.
Confidence has divorced me, leaving back her children: frustration and chagrin,
Risk and chance, are now out of my equation, because too afraid to lose, I now want to win.

I have now, for the umpteenth time, been changed and re-defined,
All that, and my condition still degrades, for my soul, has still not been refined.
But, anything that I do won't change what I'll shrink into, for I now have a monster's mind,
I am the man of today, who's conscience has withered away, leaving an alive corpse behind!